Honor

Oh we are spiritual beings. I may change my mind and plans a lot but I will never stop believing. How amazing is that? How out of character for me. So even in these times of emotional exhaustion the spirit within me is firm.

my mom will always be my mom. I will continue to learn from her and teach her. I will forever honor her, but I will not let her control me. Right now I am first responsible to God then to myself. But can I honor her and please her? Right now, probably not, but eventually, I will. My mom is hurting but I can't let that keep me here. I forgive her but will not cave in to her. my greatest desire other than for adventure is for her support in this new adventure that I'm about to begin. Our relationship hurts right now but love will mend these wounds. I can yell and argue and she can guilt and cry but in the end we will still be in pain. Only forgiveness can heal this. So what does honor look like right now? When everything I do is wrong and she just wants to ignore the whole situation and hope it'll go away. I've yet to figure out but in the mean time I'm going to forgive her.

Mother's Day was bittersweet this year. Maybe next year we'll both be thinking a little clearer.