Ahhhhhh.

First off in regards to my last post I forgot to mention its harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven than for a camel to go through the eye of a needle. Thus stating that most of the people that are rich shouldn't be and all the people that aren't should be thankful but for those unlucky few that must be, they are a necessity in the role of the kingdom and have a harder time than the rest of us becoming that role. So I was just sick of people giving them grief, even though its not my position to judge whether a person should be rich or not.

Now, onto my next subject: age.

I am young, I obviously am reminded of this everyday. my two best friends have recently turned 21 while i still have a year and half to go, I'm in a master's program with students who are on their second or third (or fourth) degree, I live with a 25 year old and 24 year old both with degrees, careers, and steady boyfriends they are thinking about marriage with. I get it. IM NOT THERE YET! And I dont want to be.

Being a grown-up means you think about the future. The only reasons you think about the future are for jobs, marriage, kids, buying houses and cars, etc. I dont know what I want to be doing in 3 months, much less 5 years. I wont be pressured into growing up or maturing faster than I have to. I am cherishing the value of being young. Staying out late, doing whatever I want, hanging out with whoever I want, it will make no difference tomorrow what I do today and it doesnt have to.

So continue to be pissed off that Im not at your level yet, continue to cry because I cant see your point of view. I dont want to be you, I admire your maturity in the scripture and hope to one day be able to think as critically as you do on the spot but thats it, and that has nothing to do with age, I can have that whenever I decide to cast aside my laziness but I will not throw away my youth to be a grown-up quicker. I dont want marriage or kids or a dog or a white picked fence I want to be able to not shower for a week and people not look at me funny, I want to play with kids that have no one else to play with, I want to travel and not move, see and not photograph, make memories with myself. You're done with that part of your life and Im just beginning it.

I'll make mistakes but I'll recover. I'll do awesome things because I won't have to think of anyone else before doing them. I will come and go as I please because no one is relying on me to be anywhere at anytime. So you're not jealous because you have everything you think you should have at this age, well neither am I. I'm searching for truth on my own, beyond where everyone says I should be looking, and Im finding it.